Welcome to my site. I’m very glad you’re here. My name is Devon, and I am a thirty-something American woman who is taking some time to explore the world and myself.
My ADHD Journey
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager and was medicated for part of my time in college, but my pride, shame, distrust of the medical community, and the symptoms from the disorder itself kept me from receiving the necessary treatment and support for nearly 15 years. I spent the first decade of my working life in a constant state of overwhelm, feeling like an imposter who didn’t belong, and who was continually, ungracefully teetering on the edge of a cliff, just barely keeping it together enough to avoid descending into absolute chaos.
I have quit every career that I have pursued, from politics to law school to teaching. At some point in each of those endeavors the feeling of overwhelm grew too debilitating, and I needed to run away. Most recently, I left teaching and my life in New York City to move to a Caribbean island in Mexico, in hopes of finding a career and lifestyle more compatible with my neurobiology.
Today I am ready to come out of the messy closet of shame, embarrassment, guilt, anxiety, and despair and face my ADHD head on. The older I get, the more I realize how much of my life has been dictated by my ADHD. I am finally ready to take control of it, rather than to continue to let my ADHD control me.
I Am Not Broken, and Neither Are You
Living as an adult woman with ADHD is emotionally isolating. Many stereotypically “feminine” responsibilities, from remembering to send birthday cards to keeping a clean and organized home, are particularly difficult for us. For years I refused to take my diagnosis seriously, and instead believed my ADHD related deficits to be proof of my poor character. I struggled against an ever present voice in my head telling me I was lazy, slovenly, immature, and ultimately broken.
Recently, however, I had the good fortune of making friends with a fellow teacher at the school where I used to work who also has ADHD. Through my friendship with her I have had the great joy of being truly understood. Conversely, by observing just how (unjustly) hard she is on herself, I have been able to see myself with somewhat kinder and more compassionate eyes.
My friend is amazing. She is an intelligent, energetic, charismatic, empathic, loving woman who is fiercely committed to her students’ wellbeing. And if she is not broken, but instead the bearer of all these other beautiful qualities, than perhaps I am not broken either. Perhaps I, like her, am so much more than the deficits associated with my ADHD.
My intention for this website is to share of my own experience accepting and living with ADHD in the hopes that it may help other women who relate to my journey. I don’t have many answers to offer, but I’m committed to writing openly and honestly about my experience with the condition. I very much hope I can offer you what my friend has given me — the understanding that you are not alone, and you are far from broken.
Yours in Scattered Sisterhood,
P.S. If you can relate to anything I write about on this site, I would love to hear from you in the comments section. I appreciate all feedback, and want this site to be a place where all women with ADHD can feel heard, understood, and accepted.